Does the weekend seem like a light-year away? Fiending for a cup of coffee? Not sure how you’re going to make it through the week with that stack of TPS reports on your desk piling up? Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays. So to get you over your weekend blues, the Daily Agenda brings you a lighter side of the news on this Monday morning.
- - At least since the outbreak of the Six-Day War in 1967, the United States and Israel have enjoyed a “special relationship.” The United States provides Israel with diplomatic support, military assistance, and roughly $3 billion dollars annually in foreign aid. In exchange, Israel provides a reliable ally in a historically contentious region of the world and… allows our Congressmen to skinny-dip in their waters.
- Last week, Republican Congressman Kevin Yoder capped off a taxpayer-funded visit to the Holy Land by skinny-dipping in the Sea of Galilee (in case you weren’t paying attention during Bible study, Jesus recruited apostles John, James, Matthew, and Andrew from the shores of this sea). You gotta love “cultural conservatives”: You ask them for transparency in government, they expose their franks and beans to our most important strategic allies.
- -Social media, like reality, has a well-known liberal bias. Klout once again proved to be a tool of the progressive social media politburo elite when they “corrected” their algorithms to more accurately assess peoples’ online influence. The result? Teenage heartthrob Justin Bieber’s Klout score dropped from 100 to 91 while President (who?) Obama’s score was raised from 94 to 99.
- What kind of monster would do this? Where is the Tea Party to call out this blatant big government Obama-orchestrated takeover of our nation’s most prized metric of internet influence? Ron Paul may think he needs to wear his stethoscope when he surfs the interweb (that’s what the kids call it, right?), but the fact that he only has a Klout score of 89 shows that their new algorithms are the digital age’s version of Stalin’s show trials.
- -Creationists rejoice! For years evolutionary biologists have taught your children that natural selection was the impetus behind human evolution. But their arguments took a major blow on Saturday night, when Snooki successfully passed on her genes and gave birth to a baby boy. Indeed, what evolutionary advantage could the Cheetos-colored film that sits atop Snooki’s skin possibly have? Answer me that, Richard Dawkins!